Back in the 1975, Meir Kahane derided the Jewish Conservative movement. “They make a mockery of conserving it [Judaism],” he wrote. As usual, Kahane was right. The old joke goes, “What is the difference between Kahane and mainstream Zionists? Twenty years.” In that case, it was twenty-one years. On December 6, 2006, the Conservative Movement allowed same-sex unions and homosexual rabbis.

The Conservative Movement is just that, a movement, a chaotic crowd without spiritual leadership. In the fashion of political parties, the movement’s main goal is broadening its support base. That comes at the cost of values. The movement broke away from Jewish tradition by instituting the principle of mara d’atra which allows each rabbi to set his own rules applicable to his congregation. In civil life, that’s called anarchy, lawlessness. The principle could make sense for highly qualified spiritual teachers; even in their case, it would turn Judaism into a bunch of sects which adhere to incompatible rules. In practice, the conservative rabbis are often unskilled and highly dependent on their jobs. They say what the atheist Jews who pay them want to hear. Isaiah, Ezekiel, or Rabbi Nahman condemned the people’s wrongdoings; conservative rabbis legalize them.

The movement’s statement emphasizes human dignity and respect for all Jews. Go respect Jewish murderers, rapists, socialists, and idolaters! Human dignity is unrelated to the issue of lesbian rabbis. Polynesian aborigines are as dignified as any other humans and are entitled to the same rights; that does not entitle them to serve as rabbis. Every US citizen has a right to become president; few do. Rights are realized through certain procedures. Moral purity in the biblical sense and adhering to the Torah law are the preconditions for being ordained a rabbi.

Honest anti-semites from Reform Judaism congregations allow gay marriage and rabbis. Cowardly Conservative rabbis shrank from the decision. Unlike the Reformists, the Conservative establishment is sufficiently educated to understand that homosexuality is a plain violation of Jewish law. So the Conservative elite washed its hands, and pushed decisions about sinning onto the lower rabbis. Now each congregation can decide about admitting gays. Under pressure from atheists, leftists, and human rights groups, most will succumb to the abomination. Some will rejoin orthodoxy.

To crown the comedy, the Conservative Movement should appoint a lesbian its chief rabbi. A porn star, preferably.